A few years ago, I found myself in my most toxic relationship ever. One afternoon, in one humiliating, frightening instant, my girlfriend punched me in the arm. In that moment I committed to taking better care of myself and taking responsibility for my role in the patterns that led to the drama. After I broke up, moved out, and moved on, I began to understand more about why and how I ignored the … [Read more...]
Why I haven’t written a word in 2 months
This is the first thing I have written in 6 weeks. Nothing happened specifically, at least nothing noticeable and profound. At first I thought I was just distracted by my day job and several tight deadlines. Then as one week turned into another and another and still no words would come, I tried changing my strategy. Rather than sit in front of a blank screen night after night, I began to read. I … [Read more...]
5 red flags that she’s not the one for you
I am sitting across the table over wine with friends as we discuss how to know when a relationship is over. We share stories of staying too long in relationships when we didn’t know how to know the difference between normal relationship problems, and problems that indicate it’s over. I find myself joking, “Someone should write a book called, “Where the hell is the line?” We all laugh. Later, as … [Read more...]
How my ex-girlfriends have been my biggest teachers in life
I am sitting across a restaurant table catching up with the one ex-girlfriend that I thought I would be with forever. Of course, I was 27 then, and I thought I’d be young and have a tight butt forever too. As we laugh and chat about our lives, I realize that my ex-girlfriends have been my biggest teachers in life. Later, in search of more understanding about past relationships, I … [Read more...]
5 lessons the worst relationship I ever had taught me about red flags
It happened one leisurely Sunday. My girlfriend at the time and I had spent the day at the spa, a peace offering for an ongoing argument. We were joking around and then, just like that. She punched me in the arm. In that moment, it was as if all the drama and struggle of our relationship and every relationship over the past 15 years of dating culminated into the throbbing in my arm. Perhaps it was … [Read more...]